Another approach to gender-based violence (GBV)?
Maybe. Let us consider this – the abuser is also a victim. Hmm! Our approach in South Africa has been to march, insult, shout, etc. I have a feeling that the more we do this, the worse the abuse. Maybe it is because this heinous act has more coverage now in the media than it had before. So, more people are aware of it.
I always ask myself the question: why do we have so much violence against the very people who bring life to this world? Why is there so much violence against the creators themselves? Not sure if the perpetrator considers that the woman that is being abused or murdered is the same as the mother who gave birth to him. Are women not raising men well? Why do they show so much hatred towards women when they grow?
Could it be the absence of a father or a father figure in the man’s life? An absent father is not necessarily physically absent. He may be absent physically but may be supportive emotionally. A father may be present physically and absent emotionally. Complicated stuff. Physical absence with emotional support is preferable to physical presence and no emotional support. I am afraid that the absence of dad in raising a boy child could be the biggest contributor to GBV.
We are emancipating the woman and leaving the man behind. More and more women are given positions at corporate level and many of them struggle if the partner is in a lesser position. The reason might be that men have been schooled to judge their worth with the size of their paycheque. If it is less than that of the woman, it automatically means he is less of a person and that is where problems begin. So, many of these women tend to be alone because they don’t want to have to struggle with inferiority complexes of the partner.
Fortunately, women have the intuition to know if they will be bashed by a partner of not. It is when they over-ride this warning that they get into trouble. I will elaborate on this in my article next week. I guess our nurturing nature tend to be positive. Even if there is a warning, the woman tends to hope that the person will improve and be better when they are married or living together.
The solution to GBV should be comprehensive. It starts at home. We cannot have peaceful communities when homes are war zones. We cannot have peaceful families when the individual members of the family don’t have peace within.
Let us start building peaceful homes, the smallest unit of the community